Some Things on My Mind...

What is dating? And is it even possible in today's society? Does it take a certain level of maturity? Is dating just a cop out for people who are not ready to be in a committed relationship to escape reality? Or is it a way for us to keep our hand in the candy jar searching for the perfect piece to satisfy us?

I'm grappling with these questions right now. My mom and many other wise adults have told me since high school "Date around." "Don't settle." My mom has told me variations of these two phrases the most often. She says "don't be like me" The only guy she ever dated in high school (my father), became her first everything. He was her first boyfriend and father to 4 of her children. She feels she never got a chance to see what was out there, she just got comfortable and settled. Every man she was with (2 in total) after my father she married. She says "don't get stuck." It happens to the best of us. You become smitten and stuck in a rut with one particular person, who may not be placing you at the highest level or treating you the way you deserve to be treated.

It would be ideal to date around and "try out" different people in order to be led to that right person. Although I would like to do this, it never quite works out for me. I get stuck, usually, on one person. I become smitten and see nothing but that person. Or I get into situations in which he is in love with me and I am just chillin. I just want to chill, hang out, and he wants to be exclusive.---not gon' work...

Not everyone can handle the idea that the person they are seeing is dating other women/men in addition to you. I tend to be very territorial/possessive, as do most women, when it comes to men I am seeing. It is inate..I can't change that. I am not overt with my posessiveness though. Men can be the same way at times. To avoid negative reactions, some people keep their dating habits from one another, which only causes major problems, that honesty could have avoided.

So what is dating to you? Help me out...