GRE's, Sleeplessness, Scattered Thoughts

OK, so I'm taking the GRE tomorrow morning at 7:30 and I am still awake when I should be sleeping. Trouble is I can't fall asleep. Chalk it up to nervousness or the fact that I slept in this morning. I don't know. So I decided to post, since I haven't in a while.

Song playing: "Lover's Only" Maxwell Now.

Taking the GRE is making me think about what is to come after I take it. It's kind of scary because I have no idea what that is going to be. I'm only applying to three schools, so I'm hoping at least one of them accepts me. I really only want to attend one of three but I'm trying not to tell people so as not to ginx it. I pray that things only get better and more exciting from here for me. I was talking to my oldest sister this morning and she was like "You're gonna be famous, man" as she went into a made-up anecdote of seeing my photos from Africa in a National Geographic issue at her doctor's office and her boasting that I am her little sister. That made me feel really good to hear that from her, because I admire her so much.

My sister has accomplished so much despite the many adversities she has faced in life. Whenever I get lazy I think about how hard she worked to accomplish the goals she had in life being a young mother, graduating high school on time and graduating from a prestigious university, while raising three beautiful, responsible, and respectable children. How could I want to give up or be so lazy when I don't have near the adversity or challenges my sister faced. I admire and respect her in ways she probably does not even know.

So, like my previous post describes, I've been "fantasizing" lately. There's a fellow that I can not stop thinking about or talking about/to. It's crazy because I haven't felt like this in a long while and it is a good feeling, but a little scary. I love hard. So, when I catch feelings for someone I kind of wear my heart on my sleeve leaving me a bit vulnerable. The last time I had this feeling and allowed myself to be so vulnerable----it left me heartbroken. This time, I'm trying to be optimistic as well as careful with my heart. It's not that serious yet, but it's cool and I like it. :)
ALLright, I think I should probably get some sleep now..
~E~