An Unrequited Love
I have always had this perfect idea of what love would be like for me whenever I had the chance to share it with someone. I always hoped that It(love for me) would be this beautiful thing that would have me glowing, smiling for no reason, professing it to the world. I don't know. That probably sounds corny and naive. Here's a poem I wrote a while ago. I would describe it as my love fantasy.
Dance with me, Romance me
On a rainy Fall night
Just me and you, you
Kissing me ever so softly
As Duke Ellington and John Coltrane’s
“In A Sentimental Mood”
Plays as quietly and as
Tranquilizing as the rain drops
Tapping on the window-
Our bodies are intertwined
We are so close…We are One
With you I am warm,
Warm as the heat emitting
From the amber fire burning
In the fireplace-
I look up and I gaze into
Your glistening brown eyes and I
See a reflection of myself—
We belong together, we should
Be together for the rest of our lives
I know it, I feel it
You know it as well, because
I became liquid,
I melted in your arms as your
Lips opened to my heart and said-
“I love you”…
The first (and only) experience I've had in love was not near what I had imagined it would be. It started out great, we were friends first. Unfortunately, I made the mistake of falling for someone who didn't want to be fallen for. A bitter, jaded person who had been hurt too often, but slipped up and let me into his bruised heart. It didn't fulfill any of my criteria and it actually made me feel pretty horrible. I spent alot time, hurt and confused, trying to convince the "object of my affection" that I was the one for him. My love was never returned. I had even maintained a friendship that I thought I needed. We relied on eachother and I felt comfort in knowing that he was still in my life. I thought we could have a normal friendship, but the reality is that we can not. Until he doesn't get jealous of dudes I talk to and I can get over my feelings for him, we can not cultivate a genuine friendship.
I put alot of energy into thinking about this person and my feelings for him, and now I am working very hard at moving on. I want to learn from this and hopefully, in the future learn what it is like to love and be loved in return.
posted by Erin E. @ 1/22/2006 11:00:00 PM
2 Comments:
As I read this post Vivian Green's "Cursed" and Monica's "Keep it to Myself" played in the background. Some would argue that it is the most basic of human instincts to desire to love, and to desire to be loved in return.
I too know what it is like to have "An Unrequited Love" and as painful as it it, experiences like those make us stronger. It's times like those that remind us that engaging in love is a risk, but those who gain most are more often than not risk takers.
Don't worry for a beautiful flower does not dwell in the garden alone for long.
Beautiful poem by the way.
Thanks Chris :)
Post a Comment
<< Home