A New Chapter

I have to wake up in a little under 4 hours. I must be crazy. Tomorrow is my first day at my new job. It is a position totally foreign to me, although I know I have the skills, I've just never taken on this much responsibility. I will be taking a break from shooting in the field every day and working as an editorial assistant for a bi-monthly magazine/website...in NYC. It is prob the dream job for this point in my life. I am excited, nervous, anxious, and deeply saddened. My emotions are all over the place.

I was offered this job the day of my Auntie's homegoing service, which was bittersweet, but put me in a much more peaceful mood that day. I wasn't supposed to hear about the job for another week after that. My peace came from knowing that ultimately God is in control and everything happens for a reason. I knew she was rooting for me to get this job and is elated for me.

Even though I know my Auntie has gone on to a happier better place, I still find myself thinking about all of the little things I miss about her. So at this time, when I am supposed to be sleeping, I am thinking about the fact that I can't share with my Auntie this exciting time. She would have called me tonight and tomorrow morning (whether i answer or not) wishing me luck and telling me she has all faith in me, she loves me, and is so proud of me. Those little things, I will miss the most. Her random greeting cards, her hugs, emails, and genuine concern for my well-being. I have this strange feeling that I am alone without her. A major portion of my life is gone from this earth and it's hard to deal.