Relationships
What is the real reason we decide to have a boyfriend/girlfriend? Is the title just to let the whole world know that you are committed to one person? What if you and your partner were the only two people left on the planet? Would you really need to define yourself as boyfriend and girlfriend?
Why is it that when a person does gain a boyfriend or girlfriend, the rest of their relaionships automatically become less significant. Is it a rule that your boyfriend/girlfriend automatically rises above all of these relationships? It's the mentatlity "I got my boyfriend and he loves me and that's all that matters." For some reason that seems a bit toxic. It seems like setting yourself up for devastation if that relationship ever ends. Sine I have never had someone I would call my "boyfriend" maybe I am speaking from inexperience. I don't know. These things have just been on my mind lately.
Why do I still want to be with someone who has adamantly shown me that he is not emotionally ready for a girlfriend? I still love him and think that there is hope out there for us to finally be the couple I always knew we could be. Just writing that makes me feel insane. Like "Hello!, Earth to Erin! He's just not that into you!"
I can't force him into a relationship or taking a risk and letting himself love. I can't be that girl to snap him out of his habit of being reluctant to trust a woman and let her into his life. Whenever he is ready to take that step in life, I may only be there as a supportive friend and nothing more. I've always been his friend and I don't want to stop being there for him, but when will I be there for me?
If I can't be there for me, who will?
Labels: boyfriend, love, relationships, toxic
posted by Erin E. @ 5/15/2007 03:59:00 PM
2 Comments:
companionship...maybe?
In college, I like having a girlfriend because it was nice to have someone to spend time with besides my party animal male friends.
Now that I'm career minded...I'm looking for wifey and a good mother for my kids.
I think we decide to have boyfriends or girlfriends because as SP said we want companionship. But more than that we want success in life and in love. We desire people who challenge us to be better, and support us as we make it there. We want dependability, security, and constancy in some form or fashion and a relationship seems to be the best form.
I'm perplexed at how people will cut people off when they're dating. I don't think it healthy. And its stupid to alienate your friends. While your lover should be your best friend, you need other ones too. Isolationism is not good. I wholeheartedly believe what a mentor said, "In the end I find its your friends who sustain you."
I was reading a note from my mother which says, that sometime it takes time for people to see what they're passing up. Hopefully the realization comes before its too late.
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